


Goodbye, my daring Juliet

by liveyourlifethewayyouwantto



Category: my own writing - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-06
Updated: 2010-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 00:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveyourlifethewayyouwantto/pseuds/liveyourlifethewayyouwantto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The goodbye letter no one wants to read, but is the most needed to be read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye, my daring Juliet

**Author's Note:**

> I hope to get a little better with this, bear with me.

_Hey there Mol._

_Let me just begin this by I’m so sorry for making you read this. I hate making you sad, and I guess maybe it’s a little too late to say that, but better late than never, right?_

_Anyways, I’m sitting in our bathroom, near your bed. In fact, if you opened your eyes right now, you would probably see me, sitting in the floor, tears streaming down my face, a razor near my thigh, cuts showing proudly. Are you asking yourself what cuts? Don’t worry, I’ll answer that. I’ll tell you everything._

_Let’s go back to the start. What started this whole downward spiral that I am on and can’t seem to let go of. This all started a year and a half ago, in the toilets of all places. Coming out a stall, all I could see in the mirror were eyes the colour of emeralds. Wow, that sounded kinda cheesy, didn’t it? But that’s honestly what they reminded me of. And let’s not forget the waves. They were so crazy, flying everywhere. All I could think of was that they had that dreamy look that everyone dreams of having. But I knew that it was probably because you were nervous and was running your hands through them so much._

_I knew then that you were going places. You had the look, you certainly had the charm. You were going to be famous, and all I wanted was a picture so that I could say I knew her when. So when you didn’t get through the first auditions, I was honestly baffled. But then came the best moment of my life. I, **Josh Gardini** , was put in a group with you. I couldn’t believe my luck. I knew subconsciously that it probably wouldn’t change anything, but I just wanted to have my moment._

_Fast forward a year or so. We’d released our first short film,_ Who Will Save You Now?

_Wait, can I just talk about that. Your acting was breathtaking, especially alone on that stage with the spotlights on you. I know you don’t think you’re a good enough actress, but Molly, you’re astounding. Your voice is the perfect amount of raspy and shows the right bit of emotion, and every time I watch the film, I feel like you’re talking to me. Oh wow, that sounds like what a 12 year old would say…._

_Back to the story. We released our film, and were about to release the second. Our documentary was finished, and we had started planning our first live play. When one day, our management asked us when we were all planning on buying flats of our own._

_Then came the biggest surprise of the year. I asked you if you wanted to double up, and you agreed. What ever made you agree, I will never know. But by some miracle, you agreed. Eleanor, Ian and Mike decided to live in a complex with separate flats, though you already know that._

_We lived together, and it was almost like before. You were never big on going out on the town, so you always just wanted to stay in and watch movies. Your favourite was always Bambi, you’ve always loved M &M pretzels, and you love snuggling. That was torture you know. Wanting you, but never having you. What was worse, was that you were so oblivious to my struggle. But don’t worry, that was in no way your fault. This is all on me._

_This is getting long, and I have to finish everything before you wake up, so I’m just going to pass through the events that followed._

_You got a boyfriend, you broke up with said boyfriend, I stayed with you, holding you when you cried, thinking that I would never make you cry. I guess I was wrong. Or maybe I was right. There is no reason to be crying over me, anyways._

_You got another boyfriend, one that I know that you are very happy with, so I apologize for ruining your happiness. You started hanging out with him more and more, and with me less and less. I started falling, but everyone was too busy to notice, and I kept it very well hidden._

_Cuts ran deeper, so did anger and depression. I felt that I didn’t have anything to live for, no motivation to do anything. But still, through it all, I loved you._

_Then came my ultimatum. Last week, you came home, excited that he had asked you to marry him and that you had accepted. I pretended that I was happy for you, when the truth was I couldn’t process anything. I felt absolutely numb._

_I was supposed to kill myself a week ago, but by some minor miracle, you wanted to stay in and have a movie night instead of being with him, since you realized that we hadn’t spent any real time together in weeks._

_But here we are now. The sun is about to get up, so I better get on with it. I guess it’s time to pay dues and offer apologies._

_Tell Ian that everything will be okay. Hug him, tickle him, be there for him. Don’t let him blame himself, because you know that is what will happen if you don’t watch him._

_Tell Eleanor to stop smoking, and make sure that she does. Tell her that I will haunt her ass if she doesn’t stop. I don’t want her to go that way._

_Mike will be the trickiest to judge. He will try to stay strong for you, but when he is alone, he will breakdown, so be there for him._

_To you, I’m sorry that it has to end this way. I never thought that this would be our end, but here we are._

_I’m sorry that I can’t be there for your wedding, but I hope that you are truly happy with him._

_Remember me, but don’t dwell on the “what ifs.” Live your life, be happy, and know that I will always be watching over you._

_Here I go._

_~*~_

_Okay, I’m done. This feels so weird, I can feel the blood seeping out of my veins, my heart trying to compensate by pumping harder._

_~*~_

_Okay, it’s been a while, and this is really hard to write, because my arms are almost fully numb and my eyesight is blurring._

_Oh, wait last thing. Thank you for being a best friend to me, and I am sorry for all the pain that I put you through._

_Goodbye._

 


End file.
